Friday, 25 December 2015

Every Christmas is Last Christmas

"Every Christmas is last Christmas." - Clara Oswald, Doctor Who Ep. "Last Christmas"

So this is Christmas, and what have you done? (So sorry, I couldn't help myself.)
We can live every day like there are infinity left to go. Or we can live them like there is no tomorrow. Either way, this Christmas might be your last. Perhaps it might be my last. Or I might have sixty more to go. Who knows.

For me, last Christmas was terrible. Probably...possibly... the worst I've had. I feel guilty saying that, because we all tried to make it a good day under the circumstances, but nothing could hide the fact that my brother was so ill that he didn't want to help do the Christmas tree in early December - something he loves - and spent most of December 25th sleeping. And then I was ill too, my second endless-seeming saga with Acid Reflux, which triggered Anxiety and feeling permanently low. My 16th birthday had been on Christmas Eve, and, well let's just leave it at most of that day I'd be quite happy to forget.

I saw Doctor Who's Christmas special and clung onto Clara's words as if they were hanging from strings before me, just within reach. A single sentence made me realise how sad it would be if that was the last Christmas. Things are so different this December though. For one thing, I'm no longer ill, and although my brother still is, he is improving with every day. More than anything right now, I want this Christmas to be something actually worth remembering. Something that maybe in June when I inhale the scent of a cinnamon Yankee Candle my mind will go back to sitting around by the Christmas tree before the sky has awoken, unwrapping presents and smiling. 

What is happening in the world right now is horrific. Tensions are growing across the globe towards certain targets and are escalating at a frightening rate. We don't know what will come in the next year, and the way the wind will blow. And how Christmas will be in 2016.

We can live every day like there are infinity left to go. or like there is no tomorrow, and every Christmas is no exception. Because every Christmas is the last Christmas, and so live it to the fullest, love every moment, and forget how many calories are in that mince pie. 

Merry, Merry Christmas. 

Holly x


  1. Aw, I'm sorry about last christmas for you...and I'm glad this one was a bit better! I'm not...very....good at christmas. XD I just, gah, I struggle to get into the "spirit" and get very overwhelmed by all the family coming over and expectations! And yes it is sad about all the tragedies and awfulness in the world too. *nods* I guess treating every DAY like one's last isn't a bad idea either...just to appreciate life, right?! :P
    *whispers* Happy belated birthday too!!
    Thanks for stopping by @ Paper Fury!

    1. I know what you mean. I love Christmas, but I find it very hard to be around so much family for so much time over the course of a few days. Completely agree about every day, but I think Christmas is a good metaphor for it right now.
      And thank you!!


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